The Hardest Part of My Alzheimer’s Journey. And How It Shaped Yabbit the Rabbit

Yesterday, someone asked me what the hardest part of creating Yabbit the Rabbit has been. Most expect me to say something about the challenges of writing a children’s picture book, learning how to publish, how to structure a story, how many words The Rabbit in the Moon should have, or how to find an editor or illustrator.

But the hardest part had nothing to do with book creation. It had everything to do with Alzheimer’s, caregiving, and the moment that changed my life forever.

It Wasn’t Losing My Mother. It Was the Moment Before.

People often say Alzheimer’s is “the long goodbye,” but there is a single moment that breaks every caregiver: the day you move your parent into memory care.

For me, that moment happened one year before my mother passed.

The night before the move, I cooked us one final meal in her home. I played her favorite music, and when we sat down to eat, I put on Seinfeld, a show we loved watching together when I was young. But the entire time, I carried the crushing weight of what I had to do the next morning.

During dinner, I also received the final sign caregivers dreadfully hope to receive. Every few minutes, she would look at me and ask who I was and why I was there. That was when I knew it was time. It shattered me.

The Morning That Changed Everything

The next morning, I dressed her in comfortable clothes and told her we were going to a doctor’s appointment, the same gentle deception countless adult children use when moving a parent to a memory care facility.

When we arrived, two kind nurses greeted her. They asked if she was hungry and gently guided her toward breakfast. Then they glanced back at me with the prearranged signal.

I turned and walked away.

I have carried that moment with me ever since.
The guilt. The heartbreak. The anger.
The feeling of betraying someone who trusted me completely.

Every Alzheimer’s caregiver knows this pain.
It is a private grief, a wrenching conflict between love and responsibility.
It is something only those who have lived it can truly understand.

How This Pain Became the Foundation of Yabbit the Rabbit

Throughout this entire creative journey, that moment has stayed with me. To torment me, and to remind me that my mother gave me something extraordinary, an idea she never had the chance to write herself.

Creating Yabbit the Rabbit and writing The Rabbit in the Moon has become my way of turning that heartbreak into something meaningful. It’s my way of honoring her imagination, her humor, and the parts of her that Alzheimer’s could never erase.

This picture book is more than a story for children. It is a legacy born from love, loss, caregiving, and the hope that something beautiful can emerge from the darkest chapters of our lives.

And if you are a caregiver, or if you’ve had to move a parent into memory care, or if you're searching for strength while navigating Alzheimer’s, please know:

You are not alone.
Your pain does not make you weak.
And your love does not end just because circumstances force your hand.

Sometimes our hardest moments give birth to stories that help others heal.

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• My Race Against Time to Write Yabbit the Rabbit
• How The Rabbit in the Moon Was Created